Saturday, July 31, 2010

A quote on Believe

Thursday, July 29, 2010

A painful reminder

My phone alarm rang ... Ahhh I thought to myself, must be something important I have scheduled for the day much earlier. Looking at my blackberry, it was a reminder of my Dad's birthday. Somehow my phone still gave out the anniversary reminder despite my dad's passing a year ago. It was a momentary flashback and I stood there appreciating the thought of him.
Though it has been a year , the painful experience of loss still lingers. The pain is because of the miss opportunities I have NOT taken to mend the relationship between us. I'd often took things for granted and never got round to doing it. I know, I had to learn to let go but somehow the reminder often keeps him close to me. I have learn to forgive him but most importantly I am slowly learning to forgive myself for those miss opportunities.
How often we read the daily paper and sometimes come across the obituary section of someone we knew. If you find yourself saying... it's only just last week I 'd met him, why? Perhaps it is time to seriously set aside some time to call our long forgotten friends and most importantly family members which we seldom keep in touch.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Breaking out from my comfort zone

Six months ago I was posted to an existing branch in a rural town called keningau located at the heart of interior Sabah. It is also the central for all the government agencies through out the interior of Sabah. The roads are good and it is connected to the other smaller rural town. If you are driving from the capital city kota kinabalu, it is only 1.5 hour drive but be warned of the steep terrain as it passes over the crocker range.Depending on the time of day, You will be greeted by the thick clouds and cool refreshing breeze along the crocker range, something that I truly enjoy especially coming from a hot sunny climate.

I have not imagine myself working here before but the lateral transfer was a whole new thing for me. It is both enriching in experience and opportunity to make new friends. I am glad that my new office colleagues are warm and friendly which made my move so much bearable. Despite my move, I have decided against moving my family here as this would be a temporally thing for me. This meant that every weekend I would take a 3 hours journey by car and ferry to my hometown island Labuan. Weekend have never seemed so exciting and meaningful till now.

View Labuan in a larger map

Accepting the transfer gave me the opportunity to learn new things. Honestly, I did not accept it immediately, the move was more of a job necessity rather than by choice. It is common to see nowadays, companies restructuring and downsizing as means to business survival. People become jobless and at times no VSS was offered. Either you take the transfer or leave, Period. This is inevitable and the faster we learn to accept the fact , the easier it is to prepare ourselves for the unpredictable future. Getting out of my comfort zone has put a stretch in my financial budget and also my family. I kept reminding myself, that I had to be mentally tough to weather this challenges and I quickly learn to adapt to my new surrounding and make the best in any given situation.

If you ever get caught in this kind of situation, I can only advice you that mental toughness is critical to your sanity, keep your emotions at bay and have a clear forward plan of what you want to achieve and move on.

Sometimes we plan so many things in life, but life has it's ways of offering new twist in our plan. Every decision you make is never wrong but only bring you to a different conclusion.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Different types of Friendship

When you are feeling down, do you have a friend who is willing to walk that rocky path with you? A friend who patiently listen to your every bit of complain and frustration until you feel better. A friend who would be willing to stand by you when you are being isolated from others.

Through my years in my adult life, I have had many types of friends. My daily workmates, Friends who parties with you, Friends who helped out in voluntary project, Friends who trade secret cooking recipes and etc.

Last year, When my father suffered from stroke and diagnosed of fourth stage lung cancer in the hospital, that was one of my most trying moments in life. I felt helpless and had a lot unresolved issues that I could not clear with my dad. He lost his speech and loss part of his logical thinking faculty. I felt lonely not because no one came and comforted me but no one to share my inner thoughts with. To share deep secret opens oneself to vulnerability. Opening oneself to the wrong person could subject of manipulation and other ill intention.

I believe that one of the principles operating in our lives is the law of reciprocity. Some may call it as KARMA. If you do good to others , good will happen to you. If you are mean and revengeful to others, you will receive the same in return. So.... to have good and loyal friends , we must be one. So base on this concept , I asked myself what is the criteria in order to be one. Looking back in the past,I do know that there must be an element of trust, the ability to keep secrets and the patient to listen without offering advice. I think out of this three value trust, secrecy and listening, the most difficult to upkeep is the ability to keep secrets. The reason is that keeping secrets requires strong character.

I do admit I am not really good at keeping secrets as I am kind of an extrovert in nature.However I did not openly share my unresolved emotions about my dad .He is now gone for nearly a year but I still think about him and sometimes I find myself confiding in him silently. Well, I am not sure whether he can listen to my thoughts but I would like to believe that he is.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Thinking Big

My very first positive thinking book "The touch of greatness" by Frank Tibolt made such a positive impact in my life. It opened up my mind to a world where dreams do come true if only you can dream it up. Dream beyond what seems unimaginable right now. However that can be quite a challenge because as we begin to dream it, there is a part of us pulling us downwards and reminds us of our responsibilities, our commitments, our shortcomings and blah blah blah.

Sometimes we got to learn to shut out that part of us that is so eager to protect us from failing. Learning from the great people in history, accepting failure and disappointments are what we need to change our status quo in life. Are you willing to take that steps? cause nothing ever happens until you do something different.