Sunday, July 25, 2010

Different types of Friendship

When you are feeling down, do you have a friend who is willing to walk that rocky path with you? A friend who patiently listen to your every bit of complain and frustration until you feel better. A friend who would be willing to stand by you when you are being isolated from others.

Through my years in my adult life, I have had many types of friends. My daily workmates, Friends who parties with you, Friends who helped out in voluntary project, Friends who trade secret cooking recipes and etc.

Last year, When my father suffered from stroke and diagnosed of fourth stage lung cancer in the hospital, that was one of my most trying moments in life. I felt helpless and had a lot unresolved issues that I could not clear with my dad. He lost his speech and loss part of his logical thinking faculty. I felt lonely not because no one came and comforted me but no one to share my inner thoughts with. To share deep secret opens oneself to vulnerability. Opening oneself to the wrong person could subject of manipulation and other ill intention.

I believe that one of the principles operating in our lives is the law of reciprocity. Some may call it as KARMA. If you do good to others , good will happen to you. If you are mean and revengeful to others, you will receive the same in return. So.... to have good and loyal friends , we must be one. So base on this concept , I asked myself what is the criteria in order to be one. Looking back in the past,I do know that there must be an element of trust, the ability to keep secrets and the patient to listen without offering advice. I think out of this three value trust, secrecy and listening, the most difficult to upkeep is the ability to keep secrets. The reason is that keeping secrets requires strong character.

I do admit I am not really good at keeping secrets as I am kind of an extrovert in nature.However I did not openly share my unresolved emotions about my dad .He is now gone for nearly a year but I still think about him and sometimes I find myself confiding in him silently. Well, I am not sure whether he can listen to my thoughts but I would like to believe that he is.

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