Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Perhaps another way to rephrase it is “taking it to the next level “. Gamers would know this terminology as it means battling it out with the villain until you meet the big boss at the end of the level. After you have subdued the big boss, you can proceed to the next level. The higher the level, the meaner the villain gets and the reward is more tempting.
However moving forward does not necessarily guarantee success. Just like in any video game, as the villains gets meaner the game plan has to change if you want to win. Based on my observation, failing is one of the factors that you must be prepared.
Darren Lacroix, the 1999 toastmaster champion winning speech message was, ‘if you were to fall, fall forward, at least you are still making progress” It was a huge insight for me, many a times when face with failure, we feel like giving up. It’s being human because it is our nature to protect ourselves from all kind of harm whether it is emotional or physical. Falling forward meant gaining ground advantage from each fall. As you fall you learn what does and does not work. Failing happens only when you decide to quit. If not, it is just another learning experience. So keep moving forward everyday in your life
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
I remembered during my speech competition back in 2009 , I was up against very seasonal speakers and the feeling inside me before the contest was an overwhelming one. Finding time to myself, I kept repeating "I have an important message for the audience and I am going to deliver it from my heart". After many repetitions my focus was now on delivering the message rather than winning the contest. It helped calm my nerve and I was gaining more and more confident. I sailed through the speech beaming with new confidence and the audience responded positively. It was a great feeling.
In another situation, when I'd receive a letter confirming of my new relocation to another branch , I was depress at first because the thought of being away from the family was truly a difficult one. The relocation was in another state . Composing myself, I reassured myself , "that everything that happen is neutral. It is neither good nor bad but the meaning I give to it". It did not happen once but whenever I find myself sinking to self pity, I use those phrase like a magical chant. This was 10 months ago and that road have taken me to a whole new experiences.
These experiences and many more has taught me that words do have power and being aware of it, is the beginning of the realization that I can control my emotions. The next time when you are feeling beaten down by negativity, keep guard of the choice of words you use to express yourself. It worked for me and I hope it will too for you.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Coming from a small island Labuan, Kota kinabalu traffic jam can be ridiculous at times.I have learned that listening to motivation talk and keeping a magazine handy in the car can be a great traffic buster. Fuming over something that is beyond your control is not productive at all, might as well make the best of it.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Though it has been a year , the painful experience of loss still lingers. The pain is because of the miss opportunities I have NOT taken to mend the relationship between us. I'd often took things for granted and never got round to doing it. I know, I had to learn to let go but somehow the reminder often keeps him close to me. I have learn to forgive him but most importantly I am slowly learning to forgive myself for those miss opportunities.
How often we read the daily paper and sometimes come across the obituary section of someone we knew. If you find yourself saying... it's only just last week I 'd met him, why? Perhaps it is time to seriously set aside some time to call our long forgotten friends and most importantly family members which we seldom keep in touch.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Six months ago I was posted to an existing branch in a rural town called keningau located at the heart of interior Sabah. It is also the central for all the government agencies through out the interior of Sabah. The roads are good and it is connected to the other smaller rural town. If you are driving from the capital city kota kinabalu, it is only 1.5 hour drive but be warned of the steep terrain as it passes over the crocker range.Depending on the time of day, You will be greeted by the thick clouds and cool refreshing breeze along the crocker range, something that I truly enjoy especially coming from a hot sunny climate.
I have not imagine myself working here before but the lateral transfer was a whole new thing for me. It is both enriching in experience and opportunity to make new friends. I am glad that my new office colleagues are warm and friendly which made my move so much bearable. Despite my move, I have decided against moving my family here as this would be a temporally thing for me. This meant that every weekend I would take a 3 hours journey by car and ferry to my hometown island Labuan. Weekend have never seemed so exciting and meaningful till now.
View Labuan in a larger map
Accepting the transfer gave me the opportunity to learn new things. Honestly, I did not accept it immediately, the move was more of a job necessity rather than by choice. It is common to see nowadays, companies restructuring and downsizing as means to business survival. People become jobless and at times no VSS was offered. Either you take the transfer or leave, Period. This is inevitable and the faster we learn to accept the fact , the easier it is to prepare ourselves for the unpredictable future. Getting out of my comfort zone has put a stretch in my financial budget and also my family. I kept reminding myself, that I had to be mentally tough to weather this challenges and I quickly learn to adapt to my new surrounding and make the best in any given situation.
If you ever get caught in this kind of situation, I can only advice you that mental toughness is critical to your sanity, keep your emotions at bay and have a clear forward plan of what you want to achieve and move on.
Sometimes we plan so many things in life, but life has it's ways of offering new twist in our plan. Every decision you make is never wrong but only bring you to a different conclusion.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Through my years in my adult life, I have had many types of friends. My daily workmates, Friends who parties with you, Friends who helped out in voluntary project, Friends who trade secret cooking recipes and etc.
Last year, When my father suffered from stroke and diagnosed of fourth stage lung cancer in the hospital, that was one of my most trying moments in life. I felt helpless and had a lot unresolved issues that I could not clear with my dad. He lost his speech and loss part of his logical thinking faculty. I felt lonely not because no one came and comforted me but no one to share my inner thoughts with. To share deep secret opens oneself to vulnerability. Opening oneself to the wrong person could subject of manipulation and other ill intention.
I believe that one of the principles operating in our lives is the law of reciprocity. Some may call it as KARMA. If you do good to others , good will happen to you. If you are mean and revengeful to others, you will receive the same in return. So.... to have good and loyal friends , we must be one. So base on this concept , I asked myself what is the criteria in order to be one. Looking back in the past,I do know that there must be an element of trust, the ability to keep secrets and the patient to listen without offering advice. I think out of this three value trust, secrecy and listening, the most difficult to upkeep is the ability to keep secrets. The reason is that keeping secrets requires strong character.
I do admit I am not really good at keeping secrets as I am kind of an extrovert in nature.However I did not openly share my unresolved emotions about my dad .He is now gone for nearly a year but I still think about him and sometimes I find myself confiding in him silently. Well, I am not sure whether he can listen to my thoughts but I would like to believe that he is.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sometimes we got to learn to shut out that part of us that is so eager to protect us from failing. Learning from the great people in history, accepting failure and disappointments are what we need to change our status quo in life. Are you willing to take that steps? cause nothing ever happens until you do something different.