Thursday, February 19, 2009
You cannot not communicate
When the first time , I came across these statement, it took me a while for this insight to sink in. It is one of the presupposition that we learn in NLP.
Basically this presupposition meant that we are always communicating whether we intended it or not. The other day I was in deep in though over something, my friend asked me why I was feeling down. I was not feeling depress at all but my body and facial expression was sending out the message that I was depress about something. The body and facial expression convinces more in communication than spoken words. Like wise the tone of your voice is a give away of how you feet inside. Try for a moment eyes looking down to the ground, shoulder slump downwards and say out loud "I feel great", Somehow inside, there is no congruency between the spoken word and the body language. The listener will sense you are not sincere with your words and tend to believe what the body says.
In the study of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), it is important to learn how to be aware of the non spoken messages before beginning communicating. Mastering the key to rapport building, will have a higher chance of ensuring the message is heard as intended.