Friday, March 6, 2009
How to handle difficult people
We live in a society with all kind of interesting characters. I use the word interesting because it helps me to focus on the uniqueness about the individual rather than face value. It is difficult at times as we tend to prejudge others based on first impression. When we prejudge all communication with that person will fail. I have often met with demanding customers and I find that , it is often their values are violated and thus they respond by behaving in such manner. Sad to say there are also people out there , which are opportunist( not in a good sense) who takes advantage of other people. They have a scarcity mindset.
Surprisingly , the most difficult people I have encountered turn out to be my good friends eventually. Understanding the values behind a person helps a lot. People who are seen to be rude and difficult is often unconsiously protecting their values and rights. We need to be patient because there are some people who are not able to express themselves in a rightful manner. If we spend more time in listening than defending our point of view , we may begin to understand why they are behaving like that. Dr. Steven Covey puts in nicely in habit number 5 "Seek first to understand than to be understood". Often listening diffuses the tension quicker and often I use the word " If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way"
Every time when you are are face with a difficult person or upsetting situation. Say to yourself out loud "That's Interesting" Somehow, everytime I use that phrase, I tend to look at things at a different angle.It may work for you too, so tried it the next time.